Trials and awakenings

I have worked with children almost all of my adult life.  As I lost a daycare client this past August, I questioned my choices and myself quite heavily.  This family chose to leave after a conflict I brought to their attention for my well being and the mom, who I had befriended, immediately cut off all contact with me.  This became a personal wound as well as a financial problem.  I felt lost.  Where do I go from here?

My children have always been the most important to me.  I began staying at home while I was pregnant with Sassy and until this point never looked back.  Now I was faced with the real possibility of HAVING to return to work, even though James won't go to school until September.  Thankfully God had me in his sights already because he had led me to a great group of ladies in a lifegroup at my church.  My faith in his lead and trusting and following his path have definitely been tested but being able to check in with these ladies has helped me to keep myself on his true path for sure.

This story does not yet have a true answer, I have just added a new client and have some other possibles as well.  I have sent resumes and had interviews but staying home still feels right.

Out of my trial my trust has been reawakened!

And the year flew by

I have done so little blogging this year.  It is hard to really say that I am a blogger if there are so few posts available to prove it.  I would love to say that I was too busy but in all honesty I just didn't feel like I had anything to say that was worth putting out on the web forever.  This forever concept is a tough one.  The things that I post may seem funny or appropriate now but what really needs to be posted are things that honor me now and in the future.  This has been my dilema.  I could post about this problem or that frustration but in the end it hurts the person I am posting about and it hurts me and my honor.  Not the kind of blogger I ever intended to be.  My goal for this year is to blog with honor and glory and have something that is worth reading.

Trials and miracles

This year has been an interesting one so far for me.  It has shown me some trials as a parent and as a human being that challenges my faith and my sanity which have both come out stronger than I ever knew possible.  It has shown me some places to focus my attention to help others.  I am hoping to push the "bullying" policy at my childrens school which is long overdue. 

Look for more coming soon

When God really listens...

I began this year with high hopes of making 52 changes to my life and diet to make this my healthiest year yet.  I bragged as I week after week really picked new things to change and then made the changes.  They wer acumulating until the week that I put out a true challenge for me and God listened.  When God listens he doesn't just grant you the ability to fufill your needs, he challenges your ability to meet the needs yourself.  To this suprisingly I say thank you to him.

The change I made that has been such a challenge was to stop emotional eating.  Some of you may not understand this idea but for those of you that struggle with this as well you know all too well from where I speak.  After challenging this to myself, I faced stresses with my middle child, from minor health problems to lies and theft.  MY dear hubby spent increasing time on Mom duty with his aging mother, my preteen had hormonal mood swings and a appendix scare and lil man is 3 enough said.

I have fought hard to not eat emotionally but follow a mindful eating midset so I know why I am eating, for hunger not for other reasons.  I have not however always succeeded but continue to work and my weight has maintained which I was proud of since usually it would be a gain instead. 

That will teach me to brag especially when God is listening

Week 7 Is that even right….

The queen of staying power has yet again stayed at the same weight.  Efforts are not enough if I do not fully commit.  Last weeks no emotional eating was a tough one on me.  How else would I have gained all this weight if I was not an emotional eater.  I made not an ounce of progress last week.  In all honesty I was depressed and spent much of the week second guessing my talents and abilities.  Not good!

I am going to continue to push on though on that one as well as the rest because that’s the plan.

This week I am removing Mayonnaise from the house and not replacing it with anything.  Bye bye fatty mayo!

Okay so 52 weeks and 51 changes?

Week 1 was cutting the soda and increasing the water- check this one has been pretty easy!

Week 2 was exercising 3 times a week-  I want to say this was hard but with all the snow we have had around here and all the shoveling I have done I am going to count that as my exercise but yes Mr. Treadmill I will be back to you this week for my run/walk workout

Week 3 was get outside everyday- Um yeah the snow and the shoveling made that one easy too since the snow doesn’t fall in the house.  I can’t wait until spring weather makes this a fun fun change

Week 4  that is where I dropped the ball, I wasn’t on for a variety of reasons and the cold I had cut my resolve to make another change down to nil.  I know it is an excuse but heck I never said I was perfect.

Week 5  Last week which I didn’t post.  Increase fruits and veggies decrease snackies(you know who you are)

Week 6 This week

I have actually put quite a bit of thought into this week.  The changes I have made have resulted in 8lbs gone but they are not drastic changes and they are not to terribly challenging.  So what should be the next step to challenge myself.  The decision was EMOTIONAL EATING-  putting an end to emotional eating.  I have a real problem in this area.  The loneliness and boredom can sometimes be overwhelming and my coping mechanism is not working so I am going to put it in check.  To those of you who are not emotional eaters this may seem wimpy but for anyone who has been there you know this one is a biggy . 

Yesterday was not a good day for this rule by the way.  I need to learn that others actions cannot bring me down only I can do that and I shouldn’t allow anyone else the right to do that. 

I am but a work in progress!

52 weeks to a healthier me- Week 3

Week 2 recap-  I still did great with the no soda thing.  It hasn’t proven in 2 weeks to be so terribly hard and the increase in water I know is so much better for me.  So week one still running strong through week 2.  Exercise, what can we say, I did a great workout on Tuesday started my walking and running program which should lead me to running as I get in better shape.  I chose to spend another of my workout days shoveling snow which isn’t walking on a treadmill but definitely a workout so I am going to count it.  The third day was a fast paced walk on the treadmill Saturday morning, no running this time but a fast pace and I was pleased with myself.

Week 3-  I have been thinking a lot on this one, what should come next in my progression.  There are so many changes that can be made what should this one be?  A cold coming on made the decision for me.  I am going to add something fairly easy this week.  Every day I need to spend some time outside.  I have a hard time this time of the year with Seasonal affective Disorder(I need more sunshine)  I have decided that in order to combat this(thus combatting the overeating that can follow the depression associated with it) I need the outdoors.  I would love to put a time on it but here in Wisconsin you can never be sure how long the windchill will make it safe to be out so I will just say everyday time outside and make the most of the weather.

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